Demisexuality is not celibacy: Demisexual myths busted


Demisexuality is often likened to celibacy and asexuality, but demisexual YouTuber Christi Kerr wants you to know it’s actually very different.

Being demisexual, Christi doesn’t have “feelings of romantic and sexual attraction” to people that she isn’t already close to.

She says: “Demisexuality is more than choosing not to have sex outside of a relationship, it’s genuinely not being interested in sex with people outside of a close friendship.”

While demisexuality is different to celibacy and asexuality, it is “on the asexual spectrum”, Christi tells PinkNews.

Watch her interview about being demisexual with PinkNews:

“There’s a very distinct difference between feeling sexual attraction towards people you don’t know very well and just not acting on it, and genuinely not having that sexual attraction,” she explains.

“That’s the primary root of the misconception here – people are unfamiliar with the concept of not having sexual attraction.”

Christi has limited sexual attraction to people. She says: “A demisexual person would not feel sexual attraction towards people that they see walking down the street or an acquaintance.”

“You very rarely experience sexual attraction and when you do it’s towards someone that you have a very strong emotional bond with.”

Coming out as demisexual.

After coming out as demisexual two years ago on YouTube, she has since used her online platform to challenge people’s misconceptions about demisexuality.

In response to the myth that demisexual is an unnecessary term, she says that the label helps demisexual people feel “so validated”.

“There’s a lot of gay, bi, pan, trans, non-binary, demi people out there that would disagree,” she adds.

Another myth she often hears is that demisexuality is made up by people wanting to be part of the LGBT+ community.

However, Christi says she says she would never choose to be demisexual as she often receives “a lot of negative attention online” and finds that dating is challenging when you are demisexual.

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