Ask E. Jean – What’s Wrong With Remaining Happily Unmarried?

Life & Love


Dear E. Jean: I’m in love with a wonderful man. We laugh, talk, inspire, and support each other. We hug, we shag, we cuddle. He’s the one who understands me best. But when he asked me to marry him, I said no. Marriage to me is a death sentence, a path to a joyless, sexless life; just thinking of marriage sends me into panic attacks. And yes, if you’re wondering, my parents are still married. I’m not waiting for something better to come along. I just don’t want to marry. What to do? I can’t imagine my life without him. On the other hand, I can’t imagine my life with him. Please help! —Marriage-Phobic

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Phobic, my firebrand: Phoo. Don’t get yourself in such a lather. Haven’t you ever heard of divorce? Hell, I’m against marriage (it’s an archaic institution; I lurve my freedom), and even I’ve been married. Twice. The most delish book on wedlock ever written is I Don’t: A Contrarian History of Marriage by Susan Squire. Get it!

This letter is from the Ask E. Jean Archive, 1993-2017. Send questions to E. Jean at


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