Céline Dion Breaks Into a Nursery to Free Us From Gender Norms


Oh, bon jour, the infinitely perfect Céline Dion has received your invitation to a gender reveal party and unfortunately she must RSVP “mais non! In a partnership with Nununu, the effortless icon is introducing a line of gender neutral clothing for children, which is about as likely and as unlikely a next move for her. Sacré bleu! Or pink! Or neither!

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To introduce the line, called Célinununu, the legend behind “My Heart Will Go On” released a commercial that can best be described as “Very much a thing Céline Dion would do.” In it, she breaks into a nursery in a hospital named Hospital, while monologuing about children, place, time, legacy, and destiny. “Our children are not our children,” she says in what has got to be a nod to Kahlil Gibran but also who can say?! She continues, “we are all just links in a never-ending chain. That is life.” This is a slight pivot from Gibran who describes children as “the sons and the daughters of life’s longing for itself.” Beautiful, but binary. And Céline is totally over the binary today, honey!

After ruminating on children (“what do they know? Do they know things? Let’s find out!”) she looks around at the nursery full of babies swaddled in very bright pinks and blues, pulls a box of black glitter out of her bag, blows it on them (which, I don’t know, seems like not a great idea) and ::spoiler alert:: frees them from the construct of gendered clothing!

“Can you feel a brand nununu day?” the children would surely have shouted, if they weren’t pre-verbal. Instead of the bold colors of the binary world, the children now sport monochromatic onesies. The clothes are adorned with stars or skulls or the words “New Order”, which seems a little dystopian, I have to say but what do I know? I’m not a baby!

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Oddly, the hospital security guards are very much not here for a grown adult paraphrasing a Lebanese poet and the blowing of glitter in a bunch of kids’ faces, so they chase her out of the hospital. Rude! Then one of them tackles her. Her response? “It’s okay! I’m Céline Dion!” Which is also how I get out of all my gender jams.

This is… a lot. But, also, somehow, super great?

I didn’t know that the thing that I needed in the conversation around societal constructs was Céline Dion in a power suit pretending to be a gender cat burglar, but now that we have it, I don’t know how we ever survived before.

Frankly—and this is just me talking here; I would not presume to speak for anyone else—if there’s one person besides myself I want telling me about my gender, it’s Céline. Like, I’m not sure there’s a better encapsulation of my personal gender expression than the following series of photos:

Celine Dion Performs In Auckland

Getty ImagesDave Simpson

Celine Dion Performs In Auckland

Getty ImagesDave Simpson

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Celine Dion Performs In Sydney

Getty ImagesDon Arnold

Oh, and also this:

Celine Dion leaves her hotel in Paris

Getty ImagesNurPhoto

Possibly this on a good day:

Celine Dion Performs In Macau

Getty ImagesVCG

No further questions, please.

Céline Dion power-gestures and my entire genetic code unspools, bedazzles itself, and learns choreography.

The gauzy curtains in the “It’s All Coming Back to Me” music video have done more for my sense of self-actualization than most of my years of therapy.

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So, yeah, sure, I’m here for Céline’s latest incarnation as Gender Claus, stealing into nurseries, creating a health hazard with sparkly confetti, running from security guards, and saying her own name. The children will tells us their gender if and when they’re ready and, as Gender Claus Céline Dion once sang, “and that’s the way it IS!”

Celine Dion Performs In Sydney

Getty ImagesDon Arnold


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