Dear E. Jean: Recently I decided to try celibacy for a period of six months and told my boyfriend (we’ve been together a year) that I needed to stop having sex as part of my new self-love plan. But he claims he’s “confused” because our sex life has been awesome. So he just broke up with me! Please help!
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—Snatch the Cat or Let It Purr
Feline, Honey: You crushed the guy. You bounced him like a cat toy on a stick; you rolled his yarn balls under the sofa and asked him to chase them. When a woman announces to a chap that she’s not having sex with him for the next six months—she’s the one breaking up. This kind of thing jars an affectionate boyfriend. Meet him for dinner and clarify what your “self-love plan” means to you and him. It’s not selfish to care for yourself—it’s paramount!—but a wise woman can love a lover and still put herself first.
This letter is from the Ask E. Jean Archive, 1993-2017. Send questions to E. Jean at E.Jean@AskEJean.com.