Dear E. Jean: I’ve fallen in love—he’s intelligent, attractive, and successful, we do fun things together, we trust and respect each other, and we share similar sexual desires. So what’s wrong? My oldest friend has moved back to town. Over dinner four nights ago, she ignored me and zeroed in on my boyfriend. I felt like someone who’d set up two single friends!
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My partner noticed I felt left out, and he constantly hugged me and so on, but it was impossible to steer the conversation away from her and her flattery of him! The next day when I confronted her, she said she was “shocked” that I was “jealous” and that it was my problem, not hers. She even advised me not to show my concern, because it would make him feel “imprisoned.”
Last night, when he had us both to dinner (this was planned the first evening), she talked about herself all night and was in such raptures about every detail of his “awesome” apartment that she wouldn’t stop going on about it. And, oh yeah, this is the same friend who took my last boyfriend.
What should I do? Trust my instinct? Believe her that she’s only being “friendly”? Just stop inviting her when he’s around? Or have another honest conversation? I feel it’s happening again right in front of my eyes, but I also don’t want to be paranoid and controlling. —Can I Trust My Friend?
Miss Can! God’s mercy, girl! I love you, but—are you blind? Wasn’t one boyfriend enough? Do you really need to ask Auntie Eeee for the answer? Because of course you can trust your friend. Absolutely! You’ll never encounter a more trustworthy little harpy in your life. The viper will be shacked up with your boy before you can even start (another) “honest conversation.” Uffgh!
This letter is from the Ask E. Jean Archive, 1993-2017. Send questions to E. Jean at E.Jean@AskEJean.com.