Dear E. Jean: I met a man online; he lives in NYC and I live in L.A., but he said he’s moving here. He’s a professor, author, and film critic, and I checked him out: the syllabus for his class, his professional website with photo, and his friends on Facebook, including you, E. Jean. I want to tell you his name, but I don’t want to put you in an awkward position. Though I doubt you “friend” jerks, right?
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Anyway, for over a month we developed a lovely relationship with daily emails and phone calls, and we made plans to visit. He then mentioned that he was having financial problems and couldn’t buy me a ticket to meet him (and I didn’t offer to pay). He again alluded to money problems and disappointment because a work project was canceled, and said it was “hard on his soul.” Almost two weeks ago, he emailed me and said that he’d call, and I never heard from him again. I emailed him to ask what was happening, and no response. I can’t believe I fell for a jackass! —Confused in La La Land
Confused, my kumquat: Alas! Why didn’t you buy a ticket and fly to see him? I don’t know which of my Facebook friends he is—like everyone, I’ve had many friends lose jobs, lose 401(k)s, and lose hope, so I don’t think he’s a “jackass.” The poor bloke just doesn’t have the luxury right now to think about love. Send him a note next month and offer to come and see him. And in the meantime, to salve your savage breast, I recommend you immediately read The No Good Dirty Rotten Low Down Book of Love by the shrewd and witty Eileen Bertelli. You will instantly feel 50 times better!
This letter is from the Ask E. Jean Archive, 1993-2017. Send questions to E. Jean at E.Jean@AskEJean.com.