Dear E. Jean: I’ve been married to the perfect man for six months and am standing on the threshold of divorce. My husband has money for everything—trips all over the world, gambling $50,000 hands in Vegas—but I have to fight him for a facial. He says I’m “stupid” and “out of control” for asking him for money for something like that.
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My self-esteem is suffering (along with my skin and hair). I have no access to any accounts, no ATM, no cash unless he gives it to me. He tells me “money is tight,” yet our house is on the ocean, and his driver is always outside with his limo. He keeps promising to get me a credit card but always comes up with excuses. I love my husband. What do I do? —In Need of More Than a Facial
Need(y) Sweetie: First, puree three tablespoons of honey, two tablespoons of milk, and 10 strawberries; apply mixture to your face, wait 10 minutes, and rinse in cool water. Your skin will be instantly shimmerized. (Just because your husband’s a lying, money-sucking greedhead doesn’t mean you can’t treat yourself to a facial.)
Second, now that you feel better, take a look around and ask yourself: Why am I letting this creep control my life? And why do I love him? Hunny, he’s well on his way to becoming an abuser. Get out while you can.
And third, start interviewing for jobs and take the first one that’s suitable (you can switch to something better later). Then open a bank account. Mr. Limo Pants will forbid you to work (his kind of sub-cretin power trip): Ignore him. His whole deal stinks. Hire a good divorce attorney and leave.
This letter is from the Ask E. Jean Archive, 1993-2017. Send questions to E. Jean at E.Jean@AskEJean.com.