Dear E. Jean: Grab a box of Kleenex. This is a sad one. My guy of three years is funny, smart, stable, and bears a striking resemblance to George Clooney—but he’s a bit of a bore in bed. I feel you can’t teach an old dog new tricks (he’s 37), so since everything else is perfect, should I let this slide? My life is in your hands. No pressure. —He’s Vanilla, I’m Rocky Road
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Rockey, Honey: Phoo. Just tell the old geezer what you want. (And if you happen to be wearing a raffish pair of boxsies with crème de menthe thigh-high satin boots and begin by enumerating, in Kama Sutra-licious detail, what you looove about him, and employ a little “show and tell” to illustrate what you like, the lad will kill himself to be your hot dog.) Ancient relics of 37 are more adept, ardent, and eager when it comes to learning new tricks than 17-year-olds (who are too busy acting 37).
This letter is from the Ask E. Jean Archive, 1993-2017. Send questions to E. Jean at E.Jean@AskEJean.com.