Thanks to a good samaritan at the Golden Globes, we at last have an (extremely theoretical, highly tentative) answer to the question on everyone’s lips tonight: Is Oprah running for president?
According to a tidbit from Los Angeles Times reporter Amy Kaufman, the vote is in and it’s…not a no!
Advertisement – Continue Reading Below
This is our moment. Time to seize it. Let’s give ourselves the future we deserve.
Stedman! A first gentleman if I’ve ever seen one — and I never have because we’ve never elected a woman, but I’m guessing here. Oprah! A woman who saved the auto business in one epic afternoon!
What I mean is cancel the Democratic National Convention. If we can land Oprah, we won’t need it. Throw up a few hundred jumbotrons and just stream the speech she delivered at the Golden Globes in cities nationwide instead.
Patriotism! I feel it.
E pluribus Oprah. Out of many, Oprah.