Dear E. Jean: I’m 24 and was married once before for a few months two years ago. I’m now marrying someone new, and we’re planning a wedding. I want an engagement party, bridal shower, bachelorette party, and all the traditional wedding events, but is this appropriate? I’m still young and want to enjoy these entertainments with my new fiancé! —Bride-to-Be
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Bride, My Dove: Second marriages often do turn out to be the genuine made-in-heaven deal, but here’s the rule: An engaged young lady marrying for the second time within two years—in a tough economy—may issue invitations to one big ruckus. The invitation, however, must be accompanied by a handwritten note declaring, “Anyone bringing/sending a gift will be kicked out of the party.” People may love you, but this year they can’t afford you.
When you marry your third husband, of course, it is perfectly appropriate for you to be the stripper at his bachelor party. You may keep the dollar bills the men tuck in your G-string for your own shower gifts.
This letter is from the E. Jean archive.