How Do I Get Over My Boyfriend Being So Much Shorter Than Me?


Dear E. Jean: I’ve found the most fantastic man in the world. He’s kind, thoughtful, a great listener, and successful. He’s the perfect easygoing, relaxed antidote to my anal-retentive, sometimes anxiety-ridden personality. He treats my family and friends like gold. But here’s the problem: He’s short—5’6″ to my 5’9″. You can imagine what it looks like when I’m wearing my four-inch Jimmy Choos. Eeeek! I realize I’m completely ridiculous. I love this man! I want him to be the father of my children. How do I get over my height freak-out? Help!—Tall Girl

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Miss Tall, Darling: Alas, we all come inoculated with a dippy desire for tall men. Half of our presidents were over six feet; CEOs of Fortune 500 companies are, as a group, three inches taller than the average male; tall chaps command higher salaries, father more offspring, have better educations, and get more dates—the number-one reason women reject men on dating sites is height. Phoo. (The data is so overwhelming I lost two inches just reading it.)

So where does that leave you, Miss Jimmy Choo? Well, it leaves you with a brain and free will. So, just as you’ve learned that you can override the human bias for deep-fried triple chocolate almond caramel bars and instead choose a fresh peach, you can direct your appetite for a mate. And you do this by repeating silently to yourself when you’re with him: “This marvelous man is the way men are supposed to be. All those tall buggers are a mistake!”

This letter is from the E. Jean archive.



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